Catch It On The Outside: Boundaries and Baseball
When we are interacting with others, as is an immense part of the human experience, we are constantly fielding emotions, ours and others. When we are not great at setting boundaries, the line between how we feel and how others feel can become blurred and throw us into a much deeper entanglement.
How do we support ourselves in these moments?
How do we develop boundaries that are strong and long-lasting?
For some of us, these may feel like impossible questions to answer. Many times it falls back on not being given the “tools” to do this work. More often than not we were being raised in environments where our caregivers also didn’t have the “tools” or were creating unhealthy boundaries that suited their own needs rather than empowering the little versions of ourselves to develop safe, self-sustaining ones.
If this sounds relatable then the way is clear….there is self-care work to be done!
Is it easy? No.
Is it fun? Not usually.
Is it worth it? YES!
The best part is, that you can start whenever you feel ready to take back your power! When we dive deep and acknowledge the roots of our inability to set and maintain boundaries, the less power we give to that thought process and the more power we give to our healthy, boundary-setting, awesome selves!
This is an area I am continually working on and if you are anything like me, you love a good visualization! Here is what I connected with. Picture yourself as a catcher at a baseball game and the other players are those in your life with whom you interact with. If someone throws you a “curve ball”, which is perhaps a comment that is intense, manipulative, not kind, or even an opinion that doesn't align with your own, close your eyes and picture yourself catching it in your mitt. By catching it on the outside and holding the exchange in your “mitt” to examine it, see if it serves you in a useful way, and then simply letting it drop after the analysis, you are not allowing its energy to enter into your system.
Carrying around the weight of other people's feelings, unhappiness, stress, and sadness can many times become too much to bear. We are so much more helpful to them when we are maintaining boundaries. They will know what to expect from you and the lines won't be fuzzy.
Will there be relationships that fall away as you work on establishing your boundaries?
Unfortunately, yes.
What I have experienced and come to fully embrace is that those who want the best for you will remain and those who only wanted to take the best from you, will fade away.
The next time someone throws you a curve ball of their emotions, catch it on the outside, take a look at it, see it for what it really is, and then let it go!
Wishing you all the success in your boundary development journey. You got this!
With love,
Meg